So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
