i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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