There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
