i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
