where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
