i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm getting married
To pizza
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
