awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
