Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
