If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
