Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
