I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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