So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
