this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
