We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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