summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
