jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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