I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
