help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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