i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
this is an emotional support booty call
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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