Having a random hookup so left but love u
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
