Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
