Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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