She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
