it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
