I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
