also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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