Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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