Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
