I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
