I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
