...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize