Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she peed on how many people?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
