Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
