No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to align my fucking chakras
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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