he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
