Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Randomize
