i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
