Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
