I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
