they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
