How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
