Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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