This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize