its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
