i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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