while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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