I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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