I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
