are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
