Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
