too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
