it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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