i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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