how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
