i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
