im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
