yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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