This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize