someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
