If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
