If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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