Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
