I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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