She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
