Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
