she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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