so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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