And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
