are you so shy because you have an std?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
