You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
