He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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