I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
