Nicole vs. Life
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
