I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
