theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
