are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
