Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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